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Hello… Hello?

Hello! Remember me? I’m still around…
Here’s a quick gag for you…

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Meanwhile, in real life, I’m back on display- this time an exhibit featuring artists local to the Staffordshire Moorlands/Peak District. Hopefully something will sell before the pictures have to come down again…. Here’s a page from the gallery brochure for this season…

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At last, a post

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So much time has passed since I was last here.

Perhaps you require or expect an explanation.

The month of March is renowned as a Slack Blogging month and I have been talking to people in attempt to find the reason.

Chatting with writers, sculptors, artists and songwriters I discovered that their creativity also dried up at this time of year. Their solutions to this problem have been inspired and inspirational.

Some have taken breaks to ‘recharge’, others to pursue things that the y are unable to do when work gets in the way. The most succesful, most driven individuals have taken the time to sell themselves and wipe the slate clean for the next year’s worth of creativity.

My artist friends use this time of year to display and sell their work, organising exhibitions and gallery residencies

My songwriting friends (names witheld) either organise live performances or promote their latest release…anything that gives them a break from the daily drudge of creativity. Sometimes I wonder if they’d rather be working 9-5 in an office.

So many people I meet seem to be malcontent. Is it a product of modern living? If so then Modern Life Is Rubbish. Is it just the natural state of the human condition? I think we can rise above it, can’t we?

NB this may seem to be a very untypical post for me but how many album titles can you spot in the above post?

Alas, in Underland

Things here are getting curiouser and curiouser.
I’m being chased around my a girl called Alison.
I’m late but I don’t quite recall what it was that made me so late. I’m thinking a bullet but I could be wrong.

As for this guy, he seems to be completely loopy. His tea party is mayhem. He insists that he is Killkaties when we all know that I am Killkaties reincarnated as a white rabbit.

Would the real Killkaties please stand up?

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Incidentally, Killkaties plays havoc with my spellchecker.

I must apologise for not responding to your comments- my notifications stopped working. Test me now by using the comments button, would you? yes,you.

The late Killkaties

While floating around as a disembodied head, I stumbled across a copy of my own autobiography and settled down to read.

To me, it sounds like a preposterous load of claptrap.

Villainous nuns bent on ruling the world? Trips to the central circle of Hades? Piratical pursuits for treasure navigated by a schoolgirl buccaneer? (for all of these, see previous posts) Absolute nonsense! In despair, I died at my own hand.. Or rather my own head, rolling myself off the edge of huge mountainous cliff to my death.

Next I found myself re-incarnated as the first Swiss mountain rescue dog, Barry. Raised and trained to assist mountaineers in the Swiss alps, I managed to rescue 40 mountaineers before the 41st shot me as a wolf, which may seem unlikely but is entirely true. Just ask Google if you don’t believe me.

My latest incarnation is as a rabbit: white, fully clothed and carrying an outsize pocket watch. Sorry that I can’t stay longer but I’m already terribly late…

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Looks familiar…

By some strange quirk of fate, I appear to have been reincarnated as myself (albeit myself in an alternate reality).

In this strange existence, I am not a brigand or buccaneer. I seem able to perform acts that are for the good of mankind as a whole. Now where’s the fun in that?

Worst of all, though, is the bizarre new colour of my headgear.
Mustard? Really?

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…although the fact that I am an unconnected floating head is a little strange too…

Things are looking up.

Well, the last re-incarnation was a bit of a flop but I think I’m going to be okay this time.

I’m an Archduke! I’m called Franz Ferdinand (just like the band)!

Best of all I’ve escaped an assassination attempt so surely I’m in the clear!

Earlier this morning I was out with my dear wife in our chaufer-driven limousine, enjoying the sights of Sarajevo when some fool threw a grenade at us. Luckily his aim was not true and he ended up detonating the poor couple in the car behind!

Naturally, we continued on to the soiree at the Governor’s house. Great fun. My wife insists that we should go and visit the survivors of this morning’s attack at the hospital so it’s back to the car we head now…. I suppose we should let the bodyguards know about the changed itinerary but I’m sure everything will be fine without them.

Auf wiedersehen, Freunde!

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Hang on! I only come here for the pictures!

A few words on the last post here…

Thank you for kind comments about the rich red background colour. What I didn’t mention at the time was that this was a massive pool of my blood following a samurai attack. I’m really not enjoying the way this reincarnation thing is going.

It would seem also that I was tossed into a different timeline where I didn’t live long enough to become the fine handsome gentleman that I once was.

Next time I hope to come back as someone who will come to be famed for their longevity.

Why no picture today?
Well through ectoplasmic concentration and beyond-the-grave powers of telekinesis, I had produced a splendid artwork made from boxes and featuring elephants made of jelly.
Sadly word of this work reached the ears of a gang of international art thieves and it was gone within minutes.