Ladies and gentlemen, after the last few days of tiger-maulings, deaths and zombie attacks, we have bizarrely found someone willing to take on some of the servile duties of the Killkaties estate.
His name is Brian T. Bryant. He has lived a life of servitude and seems to know his onions, even taking Mewtrier in hand with an expert grace.
Bryant has proved useful in securing the doors against zombie hoards and has arranged for Fortnum and Mason to fly in provisions for helicopter delivery to the rooftop.
We were lucky to get Bryant, he is only available because the old crone he used to work for finally kicked the bucket whilst staying at the Ritz this week. He says it makes a pleasant change to not have to give a nazi salute when his employer enters the room.