The Beadles and that whole Paws is dead thing

Despite them having released just the one record, the Beadles’ fan (Derek Dent, Chair of the National Institute for the Deaf) started a rumour that bass player, Paws had died and been replaced by a lookey-likey called Biff McQuickley.

He claimed that the remaining Beadles had left clues to his death as follows:

1. In the 1968 Hartlepool Fancy Dress Competition, Bingo dressed as a priest, Jaw as a grave digger and Don as a loopy old hippy tied inside a bag. The fourth member of their party although looking like Paws turned out to be top London model Twiggy wearing a fake beard

2. The lyrics to their single went
“Let’s kill Paws
And replace him with a leggy blonde model… Yeah, yeah, yeah”

3. There was a Death Certificate

Even with all of this evidence, no one seemed to be at all interested.
Paws went on to carve out a successful solo career for herself farming sheep and selling smelly sweaters made from their wool.



  1. There was also the mini in the background of the zebra crossing, with the famous number plate ’28 Biff’, which folk took to mean that Biff had runs over Paws quickly by speeding eight miles over the Shabby Road 20mph limit…

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