G is for Galmoraith

The Scottish town of Gretna Green is known as a nice romantic place for a hasty runaway wedding. The elopement capital of the United Kingdom, if you like.

A less well-known fact is that there are many fords to be crossed in order to enter the town from any direction and it is these murky fords that are home to an unspeakable monster. Luckily, I’m typing, not speaking otherwise you would remain ignorant to the existence of Galmoraith, the Ghoulish Goldfish of Gretna Green!

Many happy couples have run blissfully from the church only to find themselves crushed in the jaws of this waterbound terror.

20130114-224307.jpgnote for naturalists: it is believed that Galmoraith attained his bulk by feasting on cast aside rice left in the wake of weekly weddings.


Type away, me hearties! Type until your hands are sore...

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